A lot of people I know had a very rough 2013. They’ve said “Hey 2013! Don’t the let the door hit your ass on the way out!” For me, the year wasn’t without its challenges and I’m looking forward to 2014 with a sense of purpose & excitement that I haven’t felt in years.
I must say that I certainly had some stellar blogging moments in 2013: I was thrilled to be nominated as one of the top parenting blogs in Vancouver by VancouverMom.ca & featured on Schmutzie’s on-line forum for fine writing Five Star Friday Not bad for a girl who just wanted to humblebrag that she has the world’s best ex-husband. I’m still unsure of what I want Divorce Doula to “become” so I’ve decided to just let it “be:” a place for me to tell my story – warts & all, a resource for others experiencing their own separations or divorces and a way to connect with people, via the Interwebs & IRL.
I went to my first blogging conference Blissdom this fall with some of my fellow BluntMoms & was inspired by the speakers, attendees and the phenomenal woman that is Miz Jully Black. I also laughed so hard with my girls that I *may* have peed my pants. On several occasions. BluntMoms added several great new writers to our riotous roster of reprobates including 8 Mile, Princess Coco dog sledding wanna-be Aesthetic Fauna & My Parrot Friend & they’ve managed to survive in the jungle with their panache & potty mouths. These wonderful women, my “tribe” amaze, inspire and rock my world every single day.
On the personal front, I loved & lost, made a few mistakes & learned some tough lessons. I mourned the death of a dear friend, my angel Sam-I-Am Sam had a talent, a smile & a spirit that will live on in the hearts of everyone who had the privilege to love her. I miss her every day. I also made some significant lifestyle changes and am determined to make them stick. I have several people to thank for helping me find the vulnerability, courage & strength to make those changes. You know who you are & I love you.
Professionally, this was a great year & I have some exciting news that I look forward to sharing very soon.
On the co-parenting front, my boys continue to thrive & adjust to our new family structure. They delight us with their intelligence, intuitiveness & resilience. My relationship with my ex has evolved in a positive, respectful manner, helped by the simple fact that we have both made peace with our past. It was heartening to learn that my ex has a serious new partner but frankly it was not easy to watch my children drive off with another woman following the Christmas holidays. Yet rather than feel threatened I feel comforted knowing that they would be safe & happy with her. She is a warm & wonderful person & I hope the hug the two of us shared in my driveway conveyed that feeling.
The title of the post is from a book by Laurel Elizabeth Keyes. Though change can open us up to new opportunities, every time we grow to a new understanding, we must let go and close the doors on the past. In order to become emotionally mature & strong, we have to walk through a new doorway to a new life, letting the old one close behind without regret, despair, or guilt.
My mom (aka my biggest fan) told me that she thinks that 2014 will be my best year yet. And my mom is always right (she would be the first to tell you so). This is my year to say “Yes!”when opportunities come to call, to live life knowing that NOW is the main event and that although I believe in second glances & second chances, I’m going rock it right the first time.
Most importantly, I vow to be kind to myself. To love the woman I am – all of her faults & her fabulousness – and live my life with authenticity. I hope that you’ll continue to join me as readers & friends. I’m grateful for your continued support of my writing & promise to keep you entertained & inspired with my Tales from the Afterwife.