Close the door softly as you go: 2013 in review & an optimistic look at the year ahead

close door

A lot of people I know had a very rough 2013. They’ve said “Hey 2013! Don’t the let the door hit your ass on the way out!” For me, the year wasn’t without its challenges and I’m looking forward to 2014 with a sense of purpose & excitement that I haven’t felt in years.

I must say that I certainly had some stellar blogging moments in 2013: I was thrilled to be nominated as one of the top parenting blogs in Vancouver by & featured on Schmutzie’s on-line forum for fine writing Five Star Friday  Not bad for a girl who just wanted to humblebrag that she has the world’s best ex-husband. I’m still unsure of what I want Divorce Doula to “become” so I’ve decided to just let it “be:” a place for me to tell my story – warts & all, a resource for others experiencing their own separations or divorces and a way to connect with people, via the Interwebs & IRL.

I went to my first blogging conference Blissdom this fall with some of my fellow BluntMoms & was inspired by the speakers, attendees and the phenomenal woman that is Miz Jully Black. I also laughed so hard with my girls that I *may* have peed my pants. On several occasions.  BluntMoms added several great new writers to our riotous roster of reprobates including 8 Mile, Princess Coco dog sledding wanna-be Aesthetic Fauna & My Parrot Friend & they’ve managed to survive in the jungle with their panache & potty mouths. These wonderful women, my “tribe” amaze, inspire and rock my world every single day.


On the personal front, I loved & lost, made a few mistakes & learned some tough lessons. I mourned the death of a dear friend, my angel Sam-I-Am  Sam had a talent, a smile & a spirit that will live on in the hearts of everyone who had the privilege to love her. I miss her every day. I also made some significant lifestyle changes and am determined to make them stick. I have several people to thank for helping me find the vulnerability, courage & strength to make those changes. You know who you are & I love you.

Professionally, this was a great year & I have some exciting news that I look forward to sharing very soon.

On the co-parenting front, my boys continue to thrive & adjust to our new family structure. They delight us with their intelligence, intuitiveness & resilience.  My relationship with my ex has evolved in a positive, respectful manner, helped by the simple fact that we have both made peace with our past. It was heartening to learn that my ex has a serious new partner but frankly it was not easy to watch my children drive off with another woman following the Christmas holidays.  Yet rather than feel threatened I feel comforted knowing that they would be safe & happy with her. She is a warm & wonderful person & I hope the hug the two of us shared in my driveway conveyed that feeling.

The title of the post is from a book by Laurel Elizabeth Keyes. Though change can open us up to new opportunities, every time we grow to a new understanding, we must let go and close the doors on the past. In order to become emotionally mature & strong, we have to walk through a new doorway to a new life, letting the old one close behind without regret, despair, or guilt.

My mom (aka my biggest fan) told me that she thinks that 2014 will be my best year yet. And my mom is always right (she would be the first to tell you so). This is my year to say “Yes!”when opportunities come to call, to live life knowing that NOW is the main event and that although I believe in second glances & second chances, I’m going rock it right the first time.

Most importantly, I vow to be kind to myself. To love the woman I am – all of her faults & her fabulousness – and live my life with authenticity.  I hope that you’ll continue to join me as readers & friends. I’m grateful for your continued support of my writing & promise to keep you entertained & inspired with my Tales from the Afterwife.




About Pamela

I’m a Vancouver-based divorced mother of two awesome boys embarking on a respectful, amicable and often humorous co-parenting adventure with their father. By day, I'm a publicist for good causes + companies at

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15 Responses to Close the door softly as you go: 2013 in review & an optimistic look at the year ahead

  1. anita webster January 3, 2014 at 5:11 pm #

    Nice post, Pam. Excited to see how well you are doing and am sure there are great things ahead! Happy 2014 to you and the fambily!


    • Pamela January 4, 2014 at 8:42 am #

      Thank you, Anita!

  2. Lynn @NomadMomDiary January 3, 2014 at 6:32 pm #

    Pam, I am sure that 2014 will be your best year ever. I am so excited to get to know you better through BM and to (fingers and toes crossed) hang out with you at BlogHer. I seriously cannot wait. You are amazing!

    • Pamela January 4, 2014 at 8:42 am #

      Back at you x100 Miz Thang. Love you.

  3. Jody January 3, 2014 at 7:06 pm #

    I love the woman you are too! Happy 2014 :)

    • Pamela January 4, 2014 at 8:43 am #

      Jody Mac you are my sister from an east coast mister. I’m so glad we met IRL this fall & can’t wait to see you again. xo

    • Pamela January 4, 2014 at 8:46 am #

      One night in Bangkok with you would not be enough Princess Coco. Thank you for the lovely message. Sending sparkles, bubbly & tiaras right back at you, my love.

  4. Ranbir January 3, 2014 at 8:52 pm #

    Fabulous post Pam!

  5. Cordelia January 4, 2014 at 4:27 am #

    Oh what a beautiful post. The silver lining on my 2013 was definitely joining Bluntmoms and I am so grateful I get to be part of your world now. (Seriously I am like a pittie, you’ll never shake me off). I can’t wait to see your journey unfold and cheer tossing sparkles from the sidelines! Right it’s nearly noon, perfect time to open some bubbly and celebrate 2014’s arrival all over again. There’s a tiara and glass with your name on it in Bangkok whenever you want. xx

  6. mom January 4, 2014 at 8:39 pm #

    The door to 2014 is now opening but remember don’t run baby steps will get you more satisfaction.This is your year and the boys as new beginnings have already begun for the ones they love and this will help them grow and adjust to the changes that have happened and will continue to happen.Love to all for a Happy and Prosporous 2014

    • Pamela January 5, 2014 at 2:47 am #

      Thanks, Mom but you know how much I love to run…

      Baby steps. I’m working on it. Love you.

  7. Magnolia January 5, 2014 at 12:09 am #

    You are a woman with a plan, warm hearted whimsy, and brain like razor wire, therefore you will not fail.
    Happy New year, loved this piece. You deserve all the accolades and then some.

    • Pamela January 5, 2014 at 2:46 am #

      Thanks to friends like you, Magnolia I know that I will always be successful. And when I’m not? You’ll be there to dust me off & put me back in the ring.

  8. Tara (nerdgirlmom) January 5, 2014 at 1:53 pm #

    You’re a beautiful person inside and out. Congratulations on your exciting news too – cant wait to hear what it is! I’m so glad that I got to meet you this year xo

    • Pamela January 5, 2014 at 6:26 pm #

      Thank you, Tara. Big love back atcha.

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