My ex & I hired a doula to coach us through our first pregnancy and delivery. She had a hippydippy smile, tons of experience in coaching women through their pregnancies and always smelled like ginger snaps. All things a panicked expectant mother craves. Especially the ginger snaps.
My ex was also a great support to me during this time, but it was like the blonde leading the blind. We had questions that were not addressed in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” Like, how old will he be before he can fix the perfect martini (28 months BTW). That’s why we decided to engage a professional to accompany us on our first foray into parenthood.
She provided sage advice, support and was an emotional & physical cheerleader when I needed her. Like a good friend, but one who wouldn’t judge you for pooping on the floor. Worth every penny.
Two years ago I reconnected with a friend that I hadn’t seen in years. Over a teary glass of wine at the pub, she shared her separation story. As I was one year into my separation, I had my own story to share and also some advice for what was to come. I think we coined the phrase Divorce Doula over our second glass of red & it has stuck ever since.
I am proud to be the unofficial Divorce Doula to several friends who have decided to leave their marriages. I’m not a professional, hell, I don’t even play one on TV, but I have resources, an empathetic ear & a story of hope. If you were unfulfilled in your marriage, it helps to think of divorce as a rebirth of self, not a failure, and it also helps to have friends to support you during the darkest of days.
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