Comments on: Until death do us part? Redefining what makes a marriage successful

By: Chrisor

Chrisor — Mon, 09 Sep 2013 17:32:40 +0000

I find your take on this interesting. I think having a 10 year contract is akin to having a prenuptial agreement. You’d be going into the marriage knowing you’d have “an easy out” down the line. Not that 10 years is easy. 7 years seems to be when most marriages crumble. Both parties need to be fully committed to “forever” and that not everyone is when they say the vows. Marriage is hard and sticking around when the times are rough, making sacrifices, etc. is not for everyone. I don’t like reading that you feel you “failed”. One person can’t keep a marriage going. It has to be both. That being said, I think however people want to define marriage to make it work is ok as long as both people agree. I hope you find love again and marriage if you so choose!

By: Pamela

Pamela — Fri, 06 Sep 2013 19:55:03 +0000

Thank you, Ilene! All the best to you in the afterwife

By: Ilene

Ilene — Fri, 06 Sep 2013 18:33:26 +0000

I love what you say about remembering what we did right. I am a year out of my marriage and too often, still think of the moments of failure and am susceptible to the occasional ‘what if.” There are no what if’s really. Just “what now?” And I’m getting to that. Excellent post.

By: EffinJay

EffinJay — Wed, 14 Aug 2013 14:27:24 +0000

This resonated for me Pam — thank you so much for sharing your heart, experience and ideas.. I am still navigating my way to the place where the father of my children and the man I was married to for 15 years, and I can successfully co-parent. You give me hope and comfort in knowing one day we will hopefully both be able to remember what we did right. xo

By: Magnolia

Magnolia — Fri, 09 Aug 2013 07:29:43 +0000

Humans are such complex creatures. Marriage is a religious construct that has a history in survival and proliferation. It isn’t like these days if our man is eaten by a dinosaur that we and the little ones starve. Partnership is key in this, Ours is the generation redefining partnerships, and marriage, but not love. The one thing is love, and that comes and goes. No failure, just change.

By: Pamela

Pamela — Thu, 08 Aug 2013 03:08:52 +0000

It’s actually a very empowering feeling Sarah.

By: Sarah at Journeys of The Zoo

Sarah at Journeys of The Zoo — Thu, 08 Aug 2013 01:40:29 +0000

I like the “not feeling like a failure” part. I hope that I’ll never have to test it out.

Besos, Sarah

By: Pamela

Pamela — Wed, 07 Aug 2013 23:42:15 +0000

I was thinking that 10 years is too long too Shayna. What’s the right time? Five years? Two?

By: Pamela

Pamela — Wed, 07 Aug 2013 23:41:26 +0000

Ha! If I were to get married again, I don’t know if I would add the sickness part, Krisi. Because, you know, Man Sickness is worse than death.

By: Kristi

Kristi — Wed, 07 Aug 2013 22:05:39 +0000

I think a contract for another 10 years is perfect for my hubs and me. One that requires a sickness & health clause that we missed the first time around in our vows.